The opportunity that's slipping away while you're building your career
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Picture this. You're 75 years old. Your kids are in their 40s and 50s. They're sitting around a table with their own kids, and someone asks: "What was it like growing up in your house?" What do you want them to say? Do you want them to remember a dad who was always working? Always distracted? Physically present but emotionally absent? Or do you want them to remember shared meals, bedtime prayers, camping trips, and hard conversations? A dad who showed up. Who listened. Who led with strength and warmth. The answer seems obvious. And yet most of us are building the first legacy while wanting the second. We care deeply about our families, but we don't have a plan. We're effective at work but reactive at home. We lead teams with clarity but wing it with our wife & kids. There’s a gap between what we want and what we're actually building. We value family more than we value career, but our time and attention don’t reflect it. And that gap creates anxiety that eats at us. The Opportunity You have a window of time with your kids under your roof. If your oldest is 12, you have about six summers left before they graduate. Six Christmases. Six years to establish rhythms, pass on values, and build a relationship that lasts. These years are what I call the Launch Window—the stretch where your kids are most deeply shaped by the environment of your home. The Launch Window isn't just about getting them through high school. It's about preparing them for the rest of their lives. And building the kind of relationship that carries into adulthood. Think about what you want to be true when they leave: What do you want them to know? Faith. Wisdom. Life lessons. The truths that guide them when you're not there. What do you want them to be able to do? Manage money. Cook a meal. Resolve conflict. Lead with integrity. These are the skills that aren't usually taught in school but that will prepare them for life. Who do you want them to be? People of character. Honest. Kind. Resilient. Faithful. Kids who make your family values part of their personal values. What kind of relationship do you want? Trusting. Respectful. Loving. A friendship that lasts long after they move out. These aren't just nice ideas. They're outcomes you can actually build toward. But only if you're intentional. The Challenge Here's the problem: culture is leading your kids if you're not. Screens. Peers. Influencers. They're teaching your kids what to value, who to admire, and how to live. And if you're like me, you don't trust present-day culture to do that job. The stats are sobering. Anxiety and depression among teens have skyrocketed in the past decade. Loneliness is at an all-time high. Kids are drowning in information but starving for wisdom. At the same time, research shows that stable, supportive homes dramatically reduce anxiety, depression, and risky behavior. The single strongest predictor of a child's emotional well-being isn't money, talent, or school choice. It's the quality of their family relationships. Your leadership at home matters more than you think. But here's where most dads get stuck: you don't have a system. You have good intentions. You care deeply. But you're doing your best to make it up as you go. At work, you wouldn't dream of leading without a plan. You have vision and strategic plans. Team members have clear roles with built in accountability. Systems are in place to keep things running smoothly. But at home? You're winging it. And the result? Frustration. Inconsistency. Drift. You know your family deserves the best of you, but you're not sure where to start. My Story A few years ago, I pulled into the garage after a long day at the office. We'd just finished rolling out a new leadership system with my team. Mission locked in. Vision clear. Values posted. Everyone aligned. I opened the door and stepped into a bigger leadership challenge: my role as husband and father. I thought back to the same questions we'd just worked through at work: What's the vision for my team? I had answers for work. But what about at home? Most days felt like survival mode, just trying to get from one day to the next. The routines were inconsistent. My relationship with my kids was good but could be deeper. And I knew I could have done more while they were still under my roof. That was the moment I realized something had to change. I had systems to lead a team at work. But no plan to lead the people who matter most. So I started building one. What Changed Over the next few years, I started applying the same frameworks I used at work to my family. I took seriously my role as senior leader of my family. This isn't dictatorial leadership that dominates. But it also isn't abdication of leadership to my wife. I embraced leadership that takes ultimate ownership of all the most important outcomes for my family. This didn't require permission from my wife. Whether she could articulate it or not, this is what Brittany wanted and needed from me. Brittany and I further clarified our roles. Who owns what? Where are the gaps? How can we work together as a team instead of competing or keeping score? We defined our family's mission and values. Not some corporate-sounding statement we'd never use. Real words that describe who we are at our best. We established rhythms. Family dinners. Bedtime routines. Weekly family meetings. Small habits practiced consistently. We set clear expectations with our kids. Age-appropriate freedoms along with responsibilities to contribute to the family. An accountability system with built in consequences. A system to carry the weight. And we started planning milestone moments including rites of passage and other identity-shaping experiences our kids will never forget. Here's what happened: Our family meetings stuck. Our kids started repeating our family values without prompting. Brittany felt stability and security. The polarity returned to our marriage. The tension eased. For the first time, I felt like I was leading instead of reacting. And the best part? This isn't about perfection. My family isn't perfect. I'm not a perfect dad. But we're moving in the right direction and consistently making progress. Most importantly, we're enjoying the adventure, one step at a time. That's the difference that a system makes. Your Turn You can't get these years back. The Launch Window is closing whether you're ready or not. Your kids are growing up. Culture is shaping them every day. And the legacy you're building right now (whether by intention or default) is the one they'll carry with them. The good news is that you don't have to figure this out alone. You don't need to be a parenting expert. You don't need to overhaul everything overnight. You just need a framework, a system, a plan. That's what I've spent the past few years building. And now I'm formalizing it. It's called the Family Leadership System. Five pillars. One complete framework for leading your family with the same clarity you bring to work. Follow along as I walk you through each pillar: Clarity, Culture, Rhythms, Accountability, Legacy. My Quick-Start Blueprint is designed to provide some immediate wins. But real transformation happens with other fathers like you. That's why I designed the 30-Day Family Leadership Sprint—a guided experience to implement this system in your own home. With daily content. Weekly calls. And personal support every step of the way. Your family is the most important organization you'll ever lead. Let's make sure you're leading it on purpose. -Andrew Consider: Who/what is leading your family right now? What has their time and attention? Now fast forward, what do you want your kids and grandkids to say about growing up in your home? Click below for a 10-question self-assessment will show how that leadership is transferring to your family life. You'll get your results immediately. [Take the Assessment →]Next Step: Ready to see what the Family Leadership System looks like? Download the Family Leadership Blueprint. [Download the Blueprint →][Learn more about the Sprint →] |