I'm halfway through the "Family Leadership Sprint" with a group of dads. Here's what I'm learning.

A group of dads is 15 days into the "30 Day Family Leadership Sprint".

After multiple calls with each dad, here are my top 15 takeaways.

This includes my top learnings along with the points that dads are saying are resonating most with them.

1. Busyness is the obstacle. No shocker here. This program is for dads who are right in the thick of life - careers, kids, activities and scheduling. How can this program not feel like an addition to the schedule, but instead provide focus so that we're getting more out of the time we're already putting into our families?
2. Culture (and screens) is the challenge we feel most acutely. So much tension around technology and screens. Some of this is internal tension about whether we're handling this right and other times it's actual conflict with kids. Guys are taking action with their own technology use (deleting social media, for example) and with their families (e.g. no-tech times each day or "technology sabbaths" on Sundays)
3. Wife involvement is on a spectrum: Some are reading daily content together and discussing. Others haven't told their wives much about what they're involved with because they feel they have to move more slowly.
4. Fathers resonate with the idea that they should be CEO of their families. This is a controversial subject for half the population. But we're attracting dads and wives that believe this is true for their families regardless of whether they believe it's true for every family.
5. Marriage health and alignment sets the foundation for everything else. It's impossible to be a truly great dad without being a great husband. Marriage is the leadership team of the family and alignment can't be forced. Fathers must start by leading themselves, initiate alignment with their wives and then be patient.
6. 50/50 roles is a myth. Trying to avoid what feels like traditional gender roles is a fool's errand. Every family looks a little different. But a successful family is not one where the husband and wife are trying to split all the most important responsibilities 50/50. That only leads to frustration and inefficiency. Role clarity and appreciation of each other are key.
7. Leadership is initiation. Put simply, dads are called to make the first move and take the first step. That means feeling ultimate responsibility for the family's most important outcomes and sometimes making hard decisions. That means starting the important conversation. That means taking action even when we don't have the perfect plan.
8. Conflict avoidance is unhealthy. Conflict avoided is almost always conflict delayed and magnified. Don't force solutions prematurely, but also don't avoid the hard discussion.
9. Some of us weren't taught how to be good fathers. Our fathers didn't always model it. Men learn how to be good men from other good men. For some, this group is an opportunity to learn from and be challenged by other good men. Get over your "fatherhood imposter syndrome". Take action and do something you know is good regardless of how it makes you feel.
10. Vision and planning is good but what we do matters even more. Some guys have done a good job planning and articulating the culture they want for their homes, but how their families spend their time isn't aligning. Others naturally have pretty healthy culture and rhythms but with no ultimate goal for what they're aiming towards. We need vision and plans along with daily and weekly rhythms that align.
11. 10 minutes per day can make a big difference. Take 10 minutes to jot down some idea and draft your family mission and values. Spend 10 minutes per day with a kid and ask open-ended questions. Take time to make sure your family is eating dinner together. One simple intentional rhythm can have an outsized impact.
12. What we model is more important than what we way. Even though what we say matters. Values are "caught not taught". As fathers, we must strive to be the men we hope our sons become and our daughters marry.
13. Progress over perfection. It's not where you are, its the direction you're heading. Look to families you admire and to systems (like this one) as an ideal to move towards. But compare yourself primarily to where you were last week, last month, last year. This is about inspiration and purpose, not anxiety and guilt.
14. Real life stories are valuable. Hearing specific stories of what other guys have worked through in the past or are experimenting with now is the most interesting and useful content.
15. This program is definitely not for everyone. Not all guys think like this. This program is for dads who think at another level about their careers and personal development. This program challenges them to think more deeply and put intention and structure around leading their families.

I'm going to launch another 30 Day Sprint in late 2025, early 2026. For anyone interested in learning more, email me at andrew@fam-lead.com or join the waitlist here.

Let's keep doing this together.

-Andrew