I feel like garbage this week
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My family is back a week early from our big international vacation. Brittany and I spent four days in Paris. Then we met up with my mom and the kids in Holland and spent another four days driving around the country, seeing where my grandparents grew up and meeting distant cousins. From there, the plan was to meet up in Kenya for 10 days with three other families who are big supporters of Because International and "The Shoe That Grows." But with the Ebola situation in neighboring countries, we faced not just health risks but the risk of getting stuck in quarantine. So the other families decided to postpone. My family monitored things from Europe, and as the situation stayed relatively stable, we made an abbreviated trip and went to Kenya for three days instead. After 15+ solo trips to Africa, it was special to finally have my whole family there to see the work I've been doing. And now that we're back, I have to admit I'm struggling. This morning I prayed and reflected, and then figured I'd open up a bit about the process. Here's something I'm learning. We spend months building toward a milestone. The big trip. The launch. The thing we've been working and waiting for. And then we pass it, and instead of feeling great, we crash. There's a letdown that comes on the other side of a milestone that nobody really warns you about. That's where I am this morning. Sitting here feeling sick and worn out. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. Life was crazy leading up to the hour we left. Brittany did so much work making sure the house and the kids were ready for us to take off. On top of all my work at Because and the stress of last minute travel changes, I was finishing my latest 30 Day Family Leadership Sprint with a new group of guys. The trip itself was stressful, and then on the final day in Kenya I caught a nasty head cold that I'm still getting over. The family handled the whole trip really well. We made some important decisions together and we were at our best far more often than the worn out moments where we turned on each other. But now the big thing is behind me, and I feel the letdown. And when I pray and reflect on why I feel like garbage, it comes down to this: my rhythms collapsed. My sleep got disrupted. My diet went downhill. My morning routine that starts with reading, writing and prayer barely happened the last couple weeks. I got plenty of steps in but didn't do much resistance training. And when I trace it back, there's one domino that knocked all the others down. My phone. During those times I couldn't sleep, and all through the travel, I let my phone take over. I scrolled. I watched lots of content that was entertaining but hollow. Then I got home, sick and in bed, and the scrolling and mindless YouTube watching just carried over. Laying in bed on my phone makes me less likely to talk to Brit or read a good book. It leads to scrolling and taking in junk. I stay up later than I should, which hits my sleep, which makes the morning routine harder, which then wrecks my diet. The phone in the bedroom is the first domino. Everything else falls after it. The older I get, the more I realize I can't get away with letting stuff slip, even in the short term. It all makes me feel gross. And honestly, that immediate feedback is a good thing. So here's what I'm committing to do about it, and I'm sharing it with you all as a form of public accountability. Andrew Huberman has a habit-building approach I've used before and really like. The short version: it's a 21 day process built around six daily habits. You expect to "fail" by only hitting four or five each day. You front-load the hard physical and mental habits in the morning, keep the low-friction ones for the evening, and you identify the one linchpin habit that makes all the others more likely to happen. At the end of 21 days, you take stock of which ones now take minimal effort, keep those going until they truly stick, and later run another 21 day test. You can watch a full overview here. Here are my six. Some were already happening at some level. Others are newer. Out of bed by 5:30 My linchpin? No phone in the bedroom. I've experienced the positive impact of getting my phone out of the room before. The past few weeks were a big relapse. Keeping it out makes everything else easier. So that's where I am this week. As always, I'm focused first on self-leadership as I keep working to lead my family well. The big trip marked the start of summer and the end of some big things. The letdown is real. Now it's time to see it for what it is and get back to the rhythms that will carry me forward. Stay connected with me as you go through your own journey. Isolation and keeping all this to yourself is the enemy. Keep at it, and make sure you've got a brother with you, in the fight and by your side. -Andrew |